Would it surprise the children, that there never was a tooth fairy? But why should he ask he thought. He had no right to rob the children of their happiness. Besides, Santa is just a magic mushroom. But he will, because that's what he never had.
The big bearded bear-like-man sat behind the microphone. He also sat behind a golden throne, in his head of course. "What is my duty?". He never wonders who he is asking this. Is it his academically gained logic, or his faith? So where does he get his wisdom from?
The answer to this question is very simple. He gets his wisdom from his short comings as growing up human. So he says "My duty is to enslave you".
Here we have some one who had possibly been an outcast as a child. The weird one who always kept frowning. The one who had a strict father who occasionally beat him up. This is someone who really needed love. He carries that void within himself still with longing, yet now his warped view of the world makes him this stupid retard.
What wisdom? The microphone lets his camel breath enter into its diaphragm, that turns the acoustic vibrations into an electrical signal with the help of a magnetic coil. These electrical signal then traveled through wires, into the sound mixer, then into the amplifiers and out to the speaker system. Then it travels out in it's original form of a sound wave to infect other peoples thoughts. It's not only lies, it started with a camel breath.
After his wisdom he sleeps like a bear. And he will not hibernate, as it will violate his principle of terrorizing and moral policing of the free people. After all he is not alone in his crusade to enslave the human spirit. To end the lifeline of a generation. To end freedom.